🚀 go-pugleaf

Andrzej �awa <lawa@friko.onet.pl> napisa�(a):

: 	Kto� kiedy� pu�ci� taki tekst:
Khe... :)

: >    BTW: Par� lat temu Amerykanie przeprowadzali akcj� "Pustynna burza",
: > kt�ra zreszt� zako�czy�a si� sukcesem. S�ysza�em kiedy� w TV, �e
: > wywiad USA na kila dni przed akcj� wpu�ci� do Iraku wirusa komputerowego,
: > maj�cego sparali�owa� systemy obronne wroga. Nie�mia�o zasugeruj�, �e
: > mog�o to by� windowz. Wyobra�cie sobie stacj� radarow�, gdzie centralny
: > komputer pisze "Wykryto niewykrywalny b��d w module....", albo kontroler�w
: > wyrzutni SCUD�w uk�adaj�cych pasjansa... I si� dziwi�, �e Amrykanie
: > takie
: > ma�e straty ponie�li. ;>

: ... a oto, co kiedy� w sieci znalaz�em:
:
: ----------------------------------------------------------------------
:
:         Some Star Trek TNG humor
:
:         "Star Trek Lost Episodes" transcript.
:
:
: Picard: "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your
:         attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have
:         you been able to access their command pathways?"
:
: Geordi:"Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching
:         through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing
:         technology."
:
: Geordi presses a  key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.
:
: Riker looks puzzled. "What the hell is 'Microsoft'?"
:
: Data turns to answer. "Allow me to explain. We will send this
:         program, for some reason called 'Windows', through the Borg
:         command pathways. Once inside their root command unit, it will
:         begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate."
:
: Picard: "But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they
:         alter their processing systems to increase their storage
:         capacity?"
:
: Data: "Yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects this, it
:         creates a new version of itself known as an 'upgrade'. The use
:         of resources increases exponentially with each iteration. The
:         Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all
: of
:         their processing ability will be taken over and none will be
:         available for their normal operational functions."
:
: Picard: "Excellent work. This is even better than that
:         'unsolvable geometric shape' idea."
:
:         .. . . 15 Minutes Later . . .
:
: Data:  "Captain, We have successfully installed the 'Windows'
:         in the command unit and as expected it immediately consumed
: 85%
:         of all resources.  We however have not received any
: confirmation
:         of the expected 'upgrade'."
:
: Geordi: "Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg
:         storage and CPU capacity to compensate, but we still have no
:         indication of an 'upgrade' to compensate for their increase."
:
: Picard:  "Data, scan the history banks again and determine if
:         their is something we have missed."
:
: Data:  "Sir, I believe their is a reason for the failure in the
:         'upgrade'.  Appearently the Borg have circumvented that part
: of
:         the plan by not sending in their registration cards.
:
: Riker:  "Captain we have no choice.  Requesting permission to
:         begin emergency escape sequence 3F . . ."
:
: Geordi, excited  "Wait, Captain I just detected their CPU
:         capacity has suddenly dropped to 0% !"
:
: Picard:  "Data, what does your scanners show?"
:
: Data:  "Appearently the Borg have found the internal 'Windows'
:         module named 'Solitaire' and it has used up all the CPU
: capacity."
:
: Picard:  "Lets wait and see how long this 'solitaire' can
:         reduce their functionality."
:
:         .. . .  Two Hours Pass  . . .
:
: Riker:  "Geordi whats the status on the Borg?"
:
: Geordi:  "As expected the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to
:         compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each
: time
:         they successfully increase resources I have setup our closest
:         deep space monitor beacon to transmit more 'windows' modules
:         from something called the 'Microsoft fun-pack'.
:
: Picard: "How much time will that buy us ?"
:
: Data:  "Current Borg solution rates allow me to predicate an
:         interest time span of 6 more hours."
:
: Geordi:  "Captain, another vessel has entered our sector."
:
: Picard:  "Identify."
:
: Data:  "It appears to have markings very similar to the
:         'Microsoft' logo"
:
: Over the speakers
:         "THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE MICROSOFT FLAGSHIP
: MONOPOLY.
:         WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF UNREGISTERED SOFTWARE IN THIS
:         SECTOR.  SURREDER ALL ASSETS AND WE CAN AVOID ANY TROUBLE.
: YOU
:         HAVE 10 SECONDS"
:
: Data:  "The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and
:         released thousands of humanoid shaped objects."
:
: Picard:  "Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft"
:
: Riker:  "Good God captain!  Those are humans floating straight
:         toward the Borg ship with no life support suits !  How can
: they
:         survive the tortures of deep space ?!"
:
: Data:  "I don't believe that those are humans sir, if you will
:         look closer I believe you will see that they are carrying
:         something recognized by twenty-first century man as doe skin
:         leather briefcases, and wearing Armani suits"
:
: Riker and Pichard together horrified  "Lawyers !!"
:
: Geordi:  "It can't be.  All the Lawyers were rounded up and
:         sent hurtling into the sun in 2017 during the Great
: Awakening."
:
: Data:  "True, but appearently some must have survived."
:
: Riker:  "They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it
:         with all types of papers."
:
: Data:  "I believe that is known in ancient venacular as 'red
:         tape' it often proves fatal."
:
: Riker:  "They're tearing the Borg to pieces !"
:
: Picard:  "Turn off the monitors.  I can't stand to watch, not
:         even the Borg deserve that."
:
: ----------------------------------------------------------------
:
: I jak si� podoba ??? :)

   Nie zapominajmy, �e motyw tego "systemu" pojawi� si� r�wnie�
do�� nie dawno w innym filmie. Filmu nie ogl�da�em, ale s�ysza�em,
�e nie ciekawy. Fabu�ka jest prosta - przylecia�o UFO, wi�c Ziemia
si� broni. Film si� nazywa� "Dzie� niepodleg�o�ci"... Powracaj�c
do fabu�ki - kluczowym elementem jest wirus kt�ry mia� (sparali�owa�|
unieszkodliwi�|czy co� w tym gu�cie) systemy na tych UFO'ach.

   A teraz odrobina dedukcji... Czy Ziemianie nie znaj�c wog�le
tego co ma zosta� zainfekowane, s� w stanie napisa� odpowiedniego
wirusa? Nie mo�liwe... Poza tym Obcy chyba s� w stanie przeanalizowa�
to co im podsy�aj� Ziemianie by sprawdzi� czy to mo�e im zagrozi�.
Wie� taki "zwyk�y" wirus to by� nie m�g�.

   A teraz zastan�wmy si� czy mog�y to by� lufciki? Je�li nawet, to
w filmie i tak by nie podawali tego wprost, to jest chyba oczywiste.
Ustalili�my, �e Obcy analizuj� programy zanim je uruchomi�. Jak
analizuj� wirusa b�d� konia troja�skiego, to zobacz� w nich polecenia,
kt�re nasuwaj� podejrzenia co do intencji ich autor�w. Za� analizuj�c
lufciki, nie znajd� nic takiego... Tam wszystko jest po to, by u�atwi�
�ycie u�ytkownikowi, by wszytko dzia�a�o lepiej, by by�o �licznie,
by sieci dokonywa�y cud�w... Wi�c my�l� - uruchomimy - i tak robi�,
po czym zu�ywane zostaj� zasoby, pami�� si� ko�czy itd. (kt� tego
nie widzia� w �yciu codziennym)... W ko�cu (pole si�owe|os�ony|etc)
opadaj� i zwyk�y (F16|F18|F21|F[0-9]+) mo�e takie UFO zniszczy�.

   Mo�e kto� zna jakie� inne filmy, gdzie ukryto motyw tego "systemu"?
--
Ten artyku� zosta�  zaaprobowany tylko i wy��cznie na podstawie
  kryteri�w wymienionych w FAQ grupy  pl.rec.humor.najlepsze.
  Za tre�� odpowiedzialna jest osoba proponuj�ca umieszczenie
    danego artyku�u na �amach grupy pl.rec.humor.najlepsze.